Fall faves....

I set this (in a slightly different colour scheme) aside at my cousin's boutique today that my dad will pick up as part of my Christmas presents.... I'm pretty excited.

Other fall faves:

.... sleeping in and just the tip of your nose being cold as you awake

.... walking around downtown, checking out late fall produce with a latte in hand

.... warm Pho in your belly

.... seeing lots of poppies sported around town for Remembrance Day (Canadians can be patriotic too - just not in the crazy/in your face/American way)

.... Daylight Savings giving us back our hour!

Hope your Saturday was full of fall fun.

TGFTTV

TGIF. Seriously. THANK GOODNESS. Hauling myself out of bed this week has been quite a trial. Hopefully with daylight savings ending tomorrow it'll make it a little easier.

So it's Friday. We made it. *HIGH FIVE* It's 10:45 and I just opened a pomtini. But it's not drinking alone because I could be out drinking at a bar with peoples, but I felt the need to save some moolah and chill. I did have a nice coffee date earlier in the evening but now I am in my bed with the laptop, catching up on all the terrible TV I've missed this weekend.

Thank Goodness For Terrible TV (TGFTTV - you see what I did there? Eh?).

I have admitted on this blog before that I, at times, have less than sophisticated tastes. I do indeed have Ayn Rand's the Fountainhead on my shelf at the moment, but I haven't cracked it open yet. I have however, read all of Twilight and most of the Shopaholic novels. I did indeed go to the theater last week, but also am really excited for the new Rachel McAdams romcom coming out (It has HARRISON FORD being crochety and charming! How could you not be excited?).

But I have really bad taste in TV.

I watch Private Practise almost every week (I think I'm skipping this one though, I do not need to see Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer rape someone). Almost anything to do with decor/wedding dresses on HGTV or TLC? I AM THERE. The documentary on climate change - not so much. I check out Cougar Town. After catching up on The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family this evening, I watched Hellcats.

Hellcats, if you haven't seen it, is about college cheerleaders. AND IT IS REALLY GOOD. There is now some kind of legal mystery going on and they used an acapella version of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' at a poignant moment.... it is the One Tree Hill of it's day (which I did used to love), though minus Chad Michael Murray's hair and dogs eating hearts.

Man, I miss Chad Michael Murray.

ANYWAYS - I have crap taste in TV. I do turn to the West Wing whenever I have 40 or so minutes to spare, and have watched my fair share of BBC series, but I am always drawn back to both the ridiculous and sublime - ie. silly teenage shows or reality tv.

Time for the Apprentice!

(Please don't judge me or my love of pomtinis)

Whew - a little down to the wire today! However, I did just have a lovely evening I can tell you all about.

A third cousin of mine who is driving across the country then down through the States pulled up in my parent's driveway at 7 this evening in a bright orange VW van. Which has no heat. So she and her friends drive with sleeping bags wrapped around them. As she recounted this over dinner I thought my mother's eyes were going to fall out of their sockets, they were so wide.

Despite their somewhat loose grip on practicality, they were (her, her boyfriend and another friend) a group of completely charming 20 year olds, I had a great evening hanging out with them and took them on a walk through neighbourhood, however I felt about 40 at times. None in school, one with a bit of a vocation/career path.... I was never so footloose and fancy free! I don't feel bad about that, I'm pretty sure the life choices I've made are working out for me so far but at times I can't help but shake my head and wonder.

I had actually never met this cousin of mine before. My mother had over 60 first cousins so if you were to walk up to me on the street and say 'Hey - we're cousins!' I am likely to believe you because I have never and don't know how I could meet all the cousins I have. I don't even have the names straight of the ones I see occasionally. Yet while I mock this, and tell people about my 'crazy Irish family', I feel so privileged to have that network. As my mother was happy to host and feed this girl we had never met, I know her mother would do the same for me were I to appear on her doorstep. I actually had a lot of fun telling her family stories that she had never heard. I seem to still be cool thank goodness. I got to explain Twitter to them. They even seemed disappointed I have to go to work tomorrow rather than show them around.

I wish I could play tour guide again, tomorrow I will be mainly spending my time sorting all my files in preparation of switching jobs in 2 weeks. There are worse ways to spend (what is supposed to be) a rainy Friday. I'll let you know how it goes!

On the upside

It's November 3rd and you can tell winter is on it's way. We had snow over the weekend and I thought back to Halloweens when I had to wear snowpants underneath my costume. It gets dark, really, really early.

As I told you, I left work late both Monday and Tuesday, late enough that the sun had already begun to set. Today I got out relatively on time and appreciated the light by which to run my errands.

I'm trying to instigate a greater amount of positivity in my life these days. While I am in general an optimist, and believe that everything happens for a reason, at times it is hard to see past inconveniences and the whine comes on. I'm not quite a Debbie Downer, as I tend to keep it to myself and stew, which I know is not good for my mental health. (I recall when I first decided a few years ago to see a therapist for anxiety issues - among the best decisions I have ever made. I am now a big fan of TALKING to someone - I told my roommate about it and that I 'wouldn't be bothering her so much with my problems'. She stared at me 'You NEVER bother me with your problems. Or mention anything bad until you burst into tears'. I have learned that keeping things bottled up = a not very happy LadyLaptop.

So, positivity. I've had a few things to kvetch about this week but let's try seeing them in a positive light.

Ucky: Having to get out of bed at 6 am this morning for spin, in the cold and dark.

Yay!: I got in a good workout and sleeping in until 7 tomorrow will feel soooooo decadent.

Ucky: Skipping lunch as I juggled deadlines and meetings.

Yay!: Having a soup and laugh break with coworkers around 3, and I wasn't starving (ie buying ridiculous stuff) at the grocery store afterwards.

Ucky: I am le tired. Seriously.

Yay!: I came home to my lovely apartment, threw in some laundry and am currently cuddled in bed, with nothing to do this evening.

I'm pretty pumped.

Here's to finding to finding the positive.

On Musical Moments

Last night, I took a stack of papers home to read to incorporate into a briefing we've been working on for a while. I worked a little bit late on the same issue today, but not nearly as late and all I have to do tonight is study for a french quiz tomorrow, and hopefully put myself to bed nice and early so I am pumped for my weekly 6:30 am Wednesday spin class.

But back to last night.

Last night, I went home, changed out of my work clothes and spread out my work across my dining table. I turned on my computer and my iTunes onto shuffle.

One of the first tracks that played was a Liz Phair track that was only on my computer because a good friend lent me the CD in first year of undergrad. She and I must have hung out in my dorm room (she avoiding her slightly odd roommate, me avoiding calculus homework) for hours on end that year. Liz Phair was one of our favourites, as she sang songs of female power and independence. With a cup of tea next to me I felt like I could close my eyes and be there again.

I've written here before about the power of music.

While I am not an accomplished musician, I've lent my hand to it enough and been exposed to so many disparate styles (thanks Dad) that it does have a special place in my life. Many songs for me bring me back to incredible moments in my life. My old roommates and I have more songs than we can keep track of which were our anthems at various points (including ridiculous Bulgarian pop).

I've had songs that I truly thought represented relationships, which now bring a pang when I hear them.

But I also shrug and sing along, because I appreciate what that time was to me in my life.

My friend from first year is getting married. We aren't those people anymore. We've both shed a lot of tears since then, grown a lot. We still have a ways to go to be as cool as Liz Phair though.

Onto french homework - anyone got any good french music recommendations?

Observed differences between the life style, daily habits and moments between a graduate student and public servant

(Note: this post was written before I had an incredibly slow day at work, to be ended with my boss snarking at me for reminding them of a deadline they were the one holding us up on, then staying late to discuss a last minute and unreasonable deadline from on high. The sun had set by the time I got home, bringing work with me, leaving me no time for a jog like I had hoped. My dinner so far is a bag of peanut butter M&Ms).

As I mentioned in a previous post, this blog has seen me make the transition between graduate student and public servant. You can never quite kick academia however, which results in my organizing my thoughts in this manner.

Introduction: In the past year (+/- one month), I have made observations on the differences in being a graduate student vs. a public servant. While my initial hypothesis that there are some major differences was correct (namely in salary size and daily habits), there are some unexpected similarities. While this study is somewhat limited in it's sample size (n=1), qualitative observations and informal surveys (never got the ethics approval) have shown that my theories do have merit.

Theory 1: Public servants are paid better

HELL YEAH. However, there are fewer opportunities to pillage free food. Further, wardrobe requirements (see below) also impact on earnings.

Theory 2: Public servants have a more regular schedule

Correct. While when I was a graduate student I could amble into my lab basically anytime I chose as I barely ever saw my supervisor, and didn't always go to the lab even, as a public servant I am supposed to be at work between 8:30 and 9. There are no major threats to my tenure if I do not do so, but there is no 'taking the morning off to read'. I do miss those days on cold and rainy mornings.

Theory 3: There will be significantly fewer socks and sandals combinations

True (p=0.001), thank goodness. Though, the overall greater expectations as to my wardrobe (no yoga pants, limited Birks), which does make me sad some days.

Theory 4: There will be fewer opportunities for office gossip with co-workers

Incorrect (p=0.53).

Theory 5: There will be a greater opportunity to travel

HA! Incorrect. While doing my Masters I travelled to the North, to Vancouver and the States for conferences and field work. So far, the government has sent me to..... Toronto. The suburbs even.

Theory 6: I will be happier and less stressed

The latter, definitely true. The former, well, it's a different kind of happy. There are days where I feel as though I've done some great, relevant, important work. And then there are days that I feel as though I have spent most of it working against other sections or the bureaucracy as a whole. While I often complained about having a basically non-existent supervisor, I definitely appreciate it now when I have to go through multiple levels of approvals for something to be OKed. I do miss being my own boss and working on something I really believed in, that was mine.

But, I am also still at the beginning of my career and know that there will be opportunities in my future to regain that autonomy and orient myself to work effectively to improve the state of things in this country and around the world. I also very much appreciate that at the moment,I don't have much authority and a lot of support as I learn a totally new way of thinking and writing at times. But I couldn't have learned so quickly if it wasn't for the trial by fire that was grad school at times.

Conclusion: I made the right decision for myself, to take the step out of academia and join the world of government. There are positives and negatives, as there are to everything, but for the most part, I leave each day feeling like I have contributed, which to me means a lot. But I hope that those of you out there still in the grad school trenches know I am still with you, and am always up to go grab some free snacks.

(There were no free snacks today.)

Let's try this again....

Happy Halloween all!

On Friday evening, I was told by some of my nearest and dearest that I should really get off my ass and get back to posting on this blog. So here we go again.

I have to admit, the identity of this blog over the past year has been a little challenging to me. When I started I was just starting grad school and spent all day chained to my laptop. Now, I've finished grad school and spent most of my day chained to my computer at work, while my beloved laptop is slowly starting to fall apart. I've gone from sharing an apartment in the lovely and cosmopolitan Mtl to living alone in my own condo in the just as lovely, but not quite so cosmopolitan Otown.

A lot has changed, which I'll be telling you a lot about since I have decided to have another go at :

NaBloPoMo. Last year I think I got as far as the 13th, hopefully I can do a bit better this year. I think that picture is appropriate as I am currently in bed with a cup of tea (yes it is 1:30 in the afternoon but I don't really care, I don't spend nearly as much time in this bed as I should), and hopefully a lot of posts will come from this location.

See ya tomorrow!