Statement of Merit

My dear employer has a rather convoluted and drawn out hiring and promotion process. In a bid to reduce nepotism and increase fairness, there are tests, oral interviews with set questions, and even before you hit those, the dreaded statement of merit. With every job posting there is a set list of qualifications and skills that you have to state VERY clearly in your submission you fulfill before you had a hope of being screened in. There are days I wonder how I ever was hired as doing them now is often a daunting task.

However, as both a perfectionist and a Virgo, I do have to applaud the organization of this system and it recently inspired me and my dear Chantal (to the right though she never updates her blog). It is actually not a bad model for looking for a boyfriend.

I promise that I am not as relationship obsessed as I seem this weekend but during my walk home from my fabulous massage this morning (Ott peeps - To.ni at Kneaded.Touch West.boro is amaaaaaaazing) I was mulling over it again (perhaps due to me looking at actual competitions I may apply to just for the sake of practise) and would like to share with you the current requirements for being LadyLaptop's next boyfriend.

Essential Qualifications:
- Graduation with a degree from a recognized university
- Either holding a permanent job or being enrolled in further educational pursuits
- Extensive relationship experience (ie. I cannot be your first real girlfriend, engineers I'm looking at YOU)
- Knowledge of a wide variety of topics (politics, sports, etc.) while not being way too informed on one or argumentative on these topics
- Ability to be friends with my friends
- Ability to operate independently and in a team (you have your own life but are able to build a new one with me)
- A combination of: a) owning their own place (living alone or with a roommate) or b) renting (alone or with a roommate) but in either case if there are roommates (or option c) living with family), owning their own motor vehicle and saving for their own home are required
- Ability to organize and set priorities for your own life (ambition is not a dirty word!)
- Ability to communicate not too much or too little (I don't need to know what you had for lunch but touching base and being able to talk is nice)
- Excellent intimate interpersonal skills ;)
- At least 25 years of age, no more than 40 years of age
- At least 5'8, in good physical condition

Asset Qualifications:
- Graduation with an advanced or professional degree from a recognized university
- Graduation with a degree in psychology (to put up with my craziness - j/k.... or am I?)
- Knowledge of dorky subjects (Star Trek, Firefly) while not being addicted to video games/comics (engineers, I am again looking at you)
- Leadership abilities, able to boot me out of my routine
- Strong family relationships
- Ability to hold your drink and keep up with my family
- Strong faith based beliefs (don't care what the beliefs are, but you should know your mind about it)
- Interest in children (if children are already possessed, essential they are out of diapers)

Now this list could either mark me as being a complete lunatic who might as well give up and resign myself to a life as a cat lady or maybe someone out there has a candidate to suggest? Constructive criticism welcomed.